Messed Up People.

I am not really sure what this post is about, it is for brainy people or not, it is right or not, it is for the better of the world or not, I simply do not know. Read on if you have general curiosity for life. And yes, this post is pretty personal in the sense that it is from some of the more towards it-is-personal-so-don't-share-it-with-anyone kind of thoughts that I think with myself.

Have you ever thought that you are really intelligent? Well, I have thought so, I don't know if it is true in the absolute sense or relative or what but I consider myself evolved and brainy enough to put myself in the category of intelligent. And mind you, I have no condescending or egotistical tone right now, it is plain observation and analysis, nothing more.

You know why I think I am different? Because I can figure myself out.. I know what I am doing... I know how I am behaving, if I am being mad or rude or whatever.. I know I have said this before somewhere else too but it was important to say it right now. I know that I am different because I can think of myself from a third person point of view... and because I have a sense of, if something I am doing is right or not, wrong or not. I can see the world as it is and I can see the world from the way someone else sees it. I can empathize like no one I know (and I am not kidding here, I mean it), I understand what people are going through and can totally put myself in their situation and think like them. I am so damn open to opinions and thoughts that I can even feel with a murderer if be and understand totally why he did what he did. But this is the main thing - even if I can totally understand what he did and I can imagine anyone else doing the same doesn't mean I would do the same... and this is because I have shaped myself for who I am.

I know many people cannot be open to any thought, understanding and have a yearning to learn more and I end up relating this behaviour with intelligence. BUT I know for sure that this isn't the case because I have seen brilliant but perfectly normal people as well. So I am guessing there are many factors involved in the making of this kind of a person which I am going to call being messed-up. Technically this also includes another category of people who are messed up in a different way.. that they are so messed up because of their brain that they cannot handle themselves the way they should.

You want to make sure if I am calling myself messed up? Yes I am. I am baring my thoughts because I mean them and because I am nowhere near embarrassed of them regardless of the fact that MOST of the people reading this are already judging me/have already judged me for who I am, rather, who I am capable of being. But you know what the best part is? I do know who I am.. I won't say I have it all figured out.. I am 23 for crying out loud.. people don't have stuff figured out at even 35 so whatever okay, don't preach to me about how I should know what I want from my life and crap because it is perfectly fine not to and even though I am still trying to establish myself as a person mentally, emotionally and materialistically, I still would say that I realise who I am. And not to sound contradictory but being extremely empathetic has its side effects as well in the way that I tend to get confused between who I am and who I could be when most people are really established of what they are at the personal characteristics front.

And now I will tell you the whole point of this post. I am writing this because I feel messed up people need better care in life. I don't know if they are messed up by birth or upbringing or experiences make them so. You know another thing that I think? That the second category of messed up people that I said right? The people who are so brainy that they can't handle themselves the way they should? I think those are the cheaters, mafia, psychopaths and murderers of the world. I could be one of them you know but I started making choices from the time I was quite young; when every one of my friends couldn't handle their feelings hopping from one place to another I made a choice to deal with myself. I could have taken instantaneous decisions and be ignorant about it, not thinking about what right or wrong is but I did. 

 I made a definition of right and wrong in my mind when I could have easily gotten carried away because I was open to ideas (yeah this is how kids go astray by the way, because they aren't narrow minded to think of 'right' and 'wrong' in its conventional sense as old people do). Call me stupid for even comparing this with the following because I respect it a lot and I don't know if I should be even comparing but I think of it like Harry choosing Gryffindor when he could have easily chosen Slytherin and could have become a 'greater' person. I know I did that to myself but I wouldn't change that for all the glory and wealth in the world. I am not sure what shaped it all exactly but may be the proportion was that it was half a great family and other half my beloved books that have shaped a lot of who I am and how I think along with some percentage of experiences that help me grow.

Do you know why I am saying all this? I have actually written this post in an appeal to god to take care of the second category of the messed up people of the world. Not take care in the nice sweet sense of it, but to take care in its serious sense- to show them the difference between right and wrong for benefit of them and others around them, to give them perspective into human values (although my mind right now is filled with reasons contradicting this), to teach them a lesson in the worst possible way that they understand because they are the ones ruining humanity, themselves and others. I don't know what they deserve and I am the kind who believes one can live their own life the way they want but the world needs to become a better place to live, not degrade consistently. It needs people to live their life their own way but in a better, human way, not as a feline.

The world needs better people with better people inside them.

Listen. God. Please.

Till next time.

 Adios.

Edit: 24 May,2015
I really wonder if my choices do me any good and if I should have chosen the other path. I do this thinking from time to time but I really do doubt that it all works for my happiness. Whatever.